Don’t let having an emotionally detached parent lead to an emotionally detached partner.

Seeking constant reassurance and approval in adulthood because of an Emotionally Detached Parent…

If you grew up with an emotionally detached unavailable parent/guardian; chances are, you end up attracting emotionally void partners just like that parent.

My father is the most intelligent man I know; an actual rocket scientist. When it comes to emotional intelligence; the saying should now go, “it’s not rocket science; it’s even more complicated.”

Though I was fortunate to have a father who was “present” my whole life; the critical emotional connection was missing from my childhood. My father was detached and apathetic, he was sorting through his own issues. His own father was detached.

There were five children; including me, by the time he got home from his 9-5, he couldn’t show up for me. He was exhausted and ill-equipped to help with my feelings because he had a difficult time with feeling his own.

These behaviors from my father manifested into my adult relationships. I had surely mastered the art of numbing out like him. And the way I sought love was the need for constant reassurance and approval. And it was never enough, I needed my partner to worship and adore me; fill me up, because I felt so insecure and empty.

I did that for years until I realized, the only person that could fill me up, was me. No more seeking outside validation; no more fishing for superficial complements. I had to learn to praise myself. Look in the mirror and just love what I saw. Not love what “could be”; or love when, I had the “perfect” body or “perfect” job. Just love the little girl that never felt enough.

Learn to praise yourself. It’s the best praise you can receive. Self-praise comes with no agenda or ulterior motive. Even if it feels like a lie, keep saying good things to yourself. These affirmations will start to sink in. There will come a point where you say them unconsciously without even thinking about it.

Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself. Treat yourself like you treat your best friend. You would never say harsh critical words to your bff, so why would you say them to yourself? You build your friends up, so do the same for you.

You won’t need reassurance and approval from your unavailable parent or partner. You have all the approval you need inside you.

Sending so much love and abundance. I heal. You heal. Change your beliefs, change your life.